Now I Know Why

Matthew 26:39
“Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.'”

For several weeks--actually for a few years now--I've been telling you how proud I am of Tammy. You know she's my hero.

I've seen her fight through some big-time adversity and still persevere. She's walked every day during this stay in the hospital, even though her energy is drained with the chemo, as well as the medicines to fight the effects of the chemo. I've watched her eat, even though her mouth and her throat are filled with sores that make every movement very painful.

Today I found out how rare she is. I left for a couple of hours this afternoon to attend her Dad's birthday party. When I got back, she told me about a conversation she had with her nurse. She finally decided she couldn't handle eating any more, and she cried a little. It hurts too much and just about everything she eats gives her nausea. She felt like she was giving up, even for a few days until the chemo in her system goes away.

The nurse told her that the staff is amazed at how strong she is. She told her that other people who have been in the same situation as Tammy, with fewer and less severe mouth sores, have given up a lot sooner and been put on feeding tubes while they wait for the chemo to leave their system. She told her that she is an inspiration to other patients and the doctors and nurses.

Because she's so close to being to being rid of the chemo, they're not going to put her on a feeding tube. They're going to let her sustain herself on Jello, Popcycles and ice chips. By Tuesday, or Wednesday at the latest, she should be rid of the mouth sores and hopefully she'll be able to eat without pain.

In the meantime, she'll just have to get her "nutrition" from the adulation of everyone who gets to be a part of her recovery.

About the verse I chose tonight: I was thinking about something this morning. I was wondering if I was trying to tell God what to do when I requested that He take away the mouth sores. I've been praying for God's will, but saying, "But I'd really like you to help her feel better quickly." Was I trying to take control from God?

I don't think so. Remember Jesus' words in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knew that God's will was that He would die on the cross for my sins, and those of a sinful world. Yet He prayed the prayer above. I know He never sinned, so this prayer must have been okay. I guess my prayer to ask God to do something is not a sin either.

So please keep praying for God's strength and healing. Ask Him to take away Tammy's pain. And please ask Him to help Tammy recover from this hideous disease.

Thanks.