Happy Birthday!

"This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it."--Psalm 118:24 (NASB)

Today is Tammy's second birthday. It's hard to believe but two years ago today she received her bone-marrow transplant. We were talking earlier tonight that her donor is now 39 years old. Somewhere, he is probably thinking about the sacrifice he made two years ago today, and we hope he is proud of his service. We still hope to meet him some day to say thank you in person.

So much has happened in those two years, and we are celebrating in a special way today. Tammy is a walking miracle. She looks great (I always thought she looked great). People tell her all the time they can't believe she's a former cancer patient so early into her recovery.

Let us catch you up on what has happened since our last post almost six months ago. Our daughter Julie got engaged in November, and she and Erich got married March 5 (see the photo above). It was a beautiful wedding, and we are thrilled to welcome Erich into our family. We told him it was hard to imagine saying it, but he measured up. Julie and Erich Braden live in Louisville, Kentucky, and are preparing to go into the mission field sometime in the next few months. They will serve in Poland.

David Lee is still in Poland. He went over there on a three-year commitment in September. He came home for almost a month for Julie's wedding, and he has been back in Poland for almost two weeks. He's doing very well, looking forward to another camp season this summer.

Tammy is working again, part-time for a financial services company. She's an on-call/substitute office administrator. She enjoys the flexibility of working when she wants and not having to when she doesn't.

I don't know that we'll ever take her recovery for granted, but it's not front-of-mind any more. It seems so natural now that she's doing so well. It's on anniversaries like this one that we take the time to praise God in a special way for the miracle He performed in saving her life.

We're at a point in our weekly Bible study at church where this past week we took a pointed look at the miracles Jesus performed when He was walking on Earth. The question was raised, “Is God still doing miracles today?”

We believe He is, and Tammy is proof. A miracle is something that could not have happened without the supernatural intrusion by God. It was His will that Tammy developed Leukemia, we believe, because He knew that Tammy would give Him the glory through the whole journey. It was His will that the young man would become a donor, not knowing that Tammy existed but with the knowledge that there might be someone out there who someday would need his donation. It was His will that the skillful doctors would choose to study oncology/hematology so that they would be there when Tammy's donation was ready. And it was His will that Tammy would receive the donation and with only a few bumps in the road be well on the way to a total recovery. She hasn't received the all-clear, because that takes five years, but all signs point that way.

We thank you for your continued prayers during the past two years, but especially since the original diagnosis was made in the fall of 2008. You are a special blessing to us.

Still Being Used in a Mighty Way

Romans 14:6a
"He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord."

Today is a special day for us. Those of you who know us really well might have one idea what we're talking about, but that's not it. I'll explain that later.

Tammy received a call this morning from her Mom. She found out that another life was saved through Tammy's illness. Let us tell the story.

When Tammy was first diagnosed with myelodysplasia, the precursor to Leukemia, many of our friends wanted to know what they could do. Tammy repeatedly told them that her desire was to have them pray for her. One of those friends decided to put wheels under her prayers.

She organized a bone-marrow drive at our church. A normal drive brings in 30-35 people, but Tammy's resulted in more than 140 people. Even the bone-marrow foundation people were impressed. We know of three people who were called as possible matches, but this is the first one we know who actually was able to donate her bone marrow to save a life.

It brought us to tears to hear of this lady. Not only was she willing to go through the process but she was willing to give life to another. We are so thankful, not only for this friend, but for the man who did the same for Tammy.

One of our friends made the following comment: "Good things can come out of suffering, and if not for you, then at least someone else! In a way, you've helped save another."

Remember that Tammy's prayer for years has been to be "used in a mighty way." Once again, God has showed us that He can use us mightily if we are willing to follow Him.

By the way, this news makes this one of the best birthdays I have ever had.

Day By Day

Psalm 90:12
"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

Today is Day 548. Why is that important? One and a half years ago today, April 1, 2009, Tammy had her transplant. The first few days seemed to drag. It took forever to get to Day 100, which was the first major milestone. After 100 days, because everything went well, she was able to be alone for periods of time and do things that she hadn't been allowed to do before.

The second hundred days flew by. We hardly even noticed when we hit 300 days. As we approached Day 365, we were less captivated by the number of the days than we were the fact that she had made it through a year. We celebrated that anniversary by visiting Julie in Louisville. The following Sunday was Easter, and we worshiped as a family together for the first time since before Tammy's transplant.

The doctors number transplant patient's days to be able to follow a treatment plan. Certain things should happen at certain times. We're now past the point where each day makes a difference in that plan, but every day that passes brings Tammy closer to complete recovery. Each day, she has a better chance of living a long life than she did the day before.

The Bible talks about numbering our days. Although we're not going through a "treatment plan," our days are important to God. In a sense, he is treating us. He offers spiritual health in a world of sin and shame. Each day we live according to His will is another day closer to the day when we will be "healed," the day Jesus calls us Home with Him. In the meantime, we can live each day as an important piece of the puzzle.

"As I'm counting my days, even though I'm starting from Day 0 and the numbers are going up, I am getting closer to spending eternity with Christ," Tammy said tonight. "I'm not counting the days until I die because I don't have to wait until I die to spend time with Christ. He is with me here. But my recovery reminds me of a future with no sickness, disease or pain. The wisdom that the Bible promises me in the verse above is recognizing that God is in charge of all my days."

We hope that you look at today and the days to come as important. Every day matters to God. We might not know what "day" it is in His plan, but He does. Our prayer is that God would bless you in a way that you would see His plan more clearly.

The Air I Breathe

Psalm 150:6
"Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD."

Do you ever think about breathing? Probably not much, if at all. When you over-exert and are short-of-breath, maybe. If you're underwater trying to get to the surface, probably. But most of the time, we just breathe. But when you think about it, without breath, our lives would be short. Without breath nothing can live. If something has breath, it has life.

Today is the first Sunday Tammy and I went to worship without David Lee in the country in almost two years. It certainly was different. He's been gone before, but this time it's fairly permanent. But we were there to worship God with all our breath, and that's what we did.

Now, don't think for a minute that we don't miss David tremendously. He has been a huge blessing to us for nearly 27 years, and during Tammy's illness and recovery he was right with us. But we're really doing okay. Many people came up to us and with a frown on their faces (expecting a sad answer) asked if we were okay. We said "Yes. We know he's doing what God wants him to do."

I've been thinking about posting something ever since he left on Tuesday. The thought running through my mind was the song by Delirious? called "My Glorious." The chorus says, "God is bigger than the air I breathe, The world we'll leave. God will save the day and all will say My glorious!"

The first time we were faced with one of our kids planning a long-term stint in the missions field, I was concerned. Julie called us from Poland, where she was completing a six-week internship. She told us that she was thinking of serving for a year. I kept thinking, "Is this what God wants? Is this what I want?" Following a long phone call with Julie, we headed to church (a little late). As we walked in, the worship band was playing this song and had just reached the chorus as we walked through the door. It confirmed to me that it was what God wanted, and therefore should be what I wanted. I came to grips fairly quickly that missions was going to be a part of our family's lives from that point on.

Here's a link to the video of that song.

But wait, there's more. A good friend of ours came up to us after church and gave us a gift. We have grown close to her during the summer, and she understands what a special young man David Lee is. In the basket was a plaque that says, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." There was also a book in the basket. The title? "The Air I Breathe." It's a devotional book about worship. It certainly was confirmation to us that God is in control of this situation and David Lee is in good Hands as he serves in Poland.

We ask that you pray for him to be effective as he serves. And pray that we can constantly remember that God is bigger than anything we encounter, and that He has David in His Hands.

By the way, if you want to read more about what David is doing, check out his web site. He's very transparent in his blog, and he does a great job of letting you know what's going on. Here's the link: http://www.davidlsmale.com/

Another Anniversary, Better Than Ever

1 Corinthians 9:23
"I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."

A year ago today I wrote the following in this blog: "Twenty-eight years ago tonight, I said the two words I am most proud of in my entire life: 'I do.' It has been an amazing 28 years, and we know that the best is yet to come. I fell in love with her 43 years ago and that love has grown stronger. I can't imagine loving her any more than I do today, though past history tells me I will love her even more tomorrow."

Sure enough, I love her even more today than I did a year ago. I'm reminded of 1969, when NFL superstar quarterback Joe Namath wrote a book called, "I Can't Wait Until Tomorrow...'Cause I Get Better-Looking Every Day." Well, I can't wait until tomorrow, because Tammy will be even better-looking, and I'll love her even more than I do today.

Today was a special day that concluded a special weekend. Julie and her boyfriend, Erich, came to town to celebrate Tammy's birthday (last month), Julie's birthday (Tuesday) and Tammy's Mom's birthday (a week from Tuesday). We had a big gathering with both sides of the family at our house. We cooked out and celebrated the birthdays.

Today was also bittersweet, because it was the last time we'll worship together (all four of us) until next May when we're all in Poland for David Lee's wedding. David moves to Poland in a little more than two weeks. We're excited for him, and we know this is what God has in store for him for the next few years at least. We're happy that he will be reunited with his fiance, and we're happy for both of them.

But, man, we're going to miss him. It's hard to grasp the fact that he won't live in the States for at least three years, maybe longer. He is such a treasure to us. He was so instrumental in Tammy's recovery as he sat with her and took care of her during the day when her parents couldn't be here. He is such a joy to be around. We know that at nearly 27, it's time to move on with his life, but that doesn't mean we want him to leave. We love Wiola (his fiance) very much, but selfishly, we'd prefer if she moved here instead of David moving there.

But that's not God's plan. Quite simply, the only One we're really willing to give him up for is God. He is going to Poland to serve God.

So as David hugged Julie in the parking lot of the restaurant where we ate lunch, we choked up. They love each other, and will see each other in Poland in January when Julie moves there too. But it will be tough for them to not see each other for five months.

A little perspective: we are so blessed to have two kids (although they're in their mid-20s) who love us, love each other, and love the Lord. We know so many people who pray for their kids daily to come back to the Lord. Our prayers are that God will bless them as they follow His plan. People have asked us how we can be so calm knowing that both of our kids will live "across the pond" in just a few months. There's two good responses, at least for me. I'm not as calm on the inside. But more importantly, God loves them more than we do. He'll bless them in ways we can't. That will be a blessing to us.

So as we celebrate our last anniversary with the two of them in the same continent, we praise God for all the blessings He has given us. Near the top of that list are our kids.

At the top is each other.

Thanks for celebrating with us.

What a Difference a Year Makes

Jeremiah 29:11
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Today is Tammy's birthday. The tabloids are all over it, because she was born 51 years ago today, yet she has the DNA of a 38-year-old. And a male at that. Hmmm.

A year ago, we celebrated her birthday while celebrating even more that she was still with us. Even though things were going smoothly in her post-transplant recovery, we were thanking God for every day she was with us. We still praise God daily for His blessings, including blessing us with a healthy Tammy.

We've posted a picture of her from a year ago and one from today. She's still the most beautiful girl in the world. Her hair is back, and even a little bit curly. Most people who meet her for the first time have no idea of what she's been through so recently.

It's been a while since we've posted. The last entry was after her one-year check-up in late-April. The doctor gave her permission to go back to church and to consider going back to work. We celebrate worshiping together every week. It took a little longer to get enough stamina to start looking for work, but she's had a couple of interviews and hopes to be working part-time soon.

Doctors are still very encouraged by Tammy's progress. The doctors and nurses tell her how much they enjoy having her visit the clinic because she is such a great success story. It lets them know that what they're doing works.

As she waits for a job, she spends her time working on crossword puzzles and taking care of the house. I am doing a better job of helping out around the house, but she's able to do everything but clean the cat litter (oh, joy!). Yesterday, she drove to the airport to say good-bye to our church's short-term Poland missions team. We look forward to going back to Poland ourselves—next May for David Lee's wedding and many times after that.

We know many of you have continued to keep her in your prayers, and we are thankful for that. As we have said many times, we have been carried on a pillow of prayers during this whole journey.

Recently, at a business networking group I attend, the ice-breaker question was “What is your favorite summer activity in Kansas City?” People mentioned Starlight Theater, Royals games or the various art fairs throughout the community. I said, “This summer, even more than in the past, it's sitting on our front porch swing, holding hands with my Sweetheart.” (That drew a chorus of “Awwww's.”)

As we commemorate another year of blessings with Tammy, we hope you take the time to celebrate the way God has blessed you over the past year.

A Day of Celebration!

1 Chronicles 16:31
"Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, 'The LORD reigns!'"

We got the big news today. The doctor at the cancer clinic came into the exam room with a big smile on his face. He said, "You look beautiful. Your counts are beautiful. Your immune system is robust. Everything looks great. You can do whatever you want."

With a couple of minor exceptions (she's not quite ready to dig in the dirt and she can't clean the litter box), all restrictions have been lifted. She's free to go back to work, part-time, when her energy level is high enough. She can eat at a buffet. Most importantly, she's allowed to go back to church.

Tammy, David Lee and I will worship together Sunday morning. It will be her first time at Sunday morning service at Cedar Ridge since March 22, 2009. It gets me choked up just thinking about it.

We have a lot to be thankful for. We have said it many times, but we have been carried on a pillow of prayers. At first those prayers were for survival and peace through a difficult time. They transitioned into prayers of thanksgiving and continued requests for recovery. Now, many are joining us in praising God for His wonderful act of love and grace.

Back when we received the bleakest news, that without aggressive treatment Tammy would not see Christmas 2009, we took a step back, then said (and wrote, November 30, 2008): "We believe it is part of the plan to draw others to Christ. Tammy is very much at peace with whatever this disease brings, because she knows that God can be glorified. If she is healed completely, as is our selfish prayer, then God can be glorified because of His power. If He chooses to have her suffer with the effects of the disease for a long period of time, He can be glorified through her faithfulness. If He chooses to bring her Home because of this disease, He can be glorified by her peace."

There were times when it was hard for me to read that, and much harder to believe it. I knew God was in charge, but I couldn't imagine life without Tammy. Tammy's faith is very strong, and she kept reminding me that His grace would be sufficient. Still, it was tough. Fortunately, He is faithful even when we're not. As we look back now, it is so obvious God had His plan in place all along. He is now being glorified with Tammy's steady and relatively smooth recovery, and her faith during it.

We are very thankful for family and friends who have walked along this path with us, many times picking us up and carrying us. We both have awesome parents and extended families. There was a message on our phone when we got home from one of Tammy's brothers who called it "the best news I've ever received." Mike and Jim (Tammy's brothers) and Ray (my brother) have been a big part of this journey. We lost track of how many people have stopped by or called to pass along cheer. Every visit, call and card was meaningful.

We're very thankful once again for the donor. We now have the opportunity to contact him. It's up to the donor registry in his area whether we can find out anything about him. But we can send him a card telling him how thankful we are for him. We'll post something if and when we get to meet him.

Thanks once again for praying for us. Celebrate with us today that the victory is ours--this victory over a deadly disease and the ultimate victory we have over death through Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57).

Blessings at Easter

Luke 24:6
"He is not here; he has risen!"

Today is our favorite day of the year. Our family celebrates birthdays and anniversaries. We enjoy spending time with extended family at holidays. We look forward to Christmas like most people do. But Easter is the most special holiday. Our lives are built on the promises of God, the greatest of which is eternal life through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. And that is commemorated on this Resurrection Day.

Easter is the only day all year that I don't have trouble getting up in the morning. Tammy is a morning person, but I become one only one day a year. We just can't get enough of the worship. If there are multiple services, and there's room for a few more folks, we stay.

Today was a special Easter for us. Last year at Easter, Tammy was in the hospital on Easter. Our whole family visited her in shifts, but we each had to leave her behind when we went to her parents' house for dinner. We had hope for the future (Hebrews 11:1), but in a very real sense, hope was focused on Tammy's recovery.

Fast forward one year. This morning, for the first time in 14 months, Tammy, David Lee, Julie and I worshiped together in church. (Tammy is still not allowed to go to church, but we were visiting Julie in Louisville where nobody knew us, so Tammy was safe from being "mugged.")

It was very emotional. Not only were we reminded of what Christ did for us, but we were together. We are so blessed that Jesus is the center of all of our lives. The power of His grace overcame us as we sang and prayed together.

The pastor spoke about plugging into the power of Christ. It's not just waiting for us when we die and get to Heaven; it's available to us now. He used the deep theological analogy of Jed Clampett and the Beverly Hillbillies: "Well, the first thing you know, Ol' Jed's a millionaire." Jed didn't suddenly become a millionaire. He just suddenly figured out that he those resources to tap into.

As we go through life, we have an unlimited resource of power there for the asking. So many times we try to rely on our power. It is our prayer that we can remember the source of all power. God bless you this special day. Use the power He provides.

Happy Birthday!

Exodus 12:47
"The whole community...must celebrate it."

Today is Tammy's first birthday! Really! Even though she came into this world more than 50 years ago, it was one year ago today that she got life back. It was April 1, 2009, when she received a bone-marrow transplant. God blessed her with the gift of life through the selfless act of donation of a young man we don't even know.

Just like with a young child, there is a whole world out there ready for Tammy to explore. She's not too far away from returning to a normal lifestyle. We'll take it slow, and not just because her energy level is still not where it should be. We want her to enjoy the journey, like a toddler exploring the world outside her crib.

After a year with the primary goal being making it through the day, the next year for Tammy may include: meeting her donor, traveling more than an hour's drive, returning to work, and, of course, returning to church. There are so many things we used to take for granted.

We are looking forward to traveling to Poland next spring for David Lee's wedding. We also hope to return to the missions field sometime in the next year or so. In the meantime, Tammy is anxious to return to the Sunday morning classroom. She has taught little kids in Sunday School since she was one step removed from being a kid herself. And, of course, she wants to continue to get healthier.

Later this month, Tammy will go through her one-year evaluations. If everything turns out the way they want it, we might have the opportunity to meet her donor. We'll update the blog if that happens. We'll introduce you to our friend as we get to know him.

It's hard to believe that it's been a year. We have felt the prayer support of people around the world. We thank you for riding along with us. We hope that every day is a new beginning for you.

Full Circle

Psalm 90:12
"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

Today (Saturday) is Day 360. I had stopped counting days once we got to 100, even though Tammy kept track. It seemed like it took forever to get to 100, but the second hundred days just flew by. We didn't even acknowledge when we hit 300.

So why the commemoration of Day 360, when we're less than a week away from Tammy's "first birthday"?

As we've said before, we like statistics. Maybe it's my love of sports, where statistics are so important. But the number 360 reminds us of a circle. When someone does a 360 dunk, it means they spin all the way around before slamming it home. There are 360 degrees in a circle.

So today, Day 360, we celebrate that Tammy seems like she's returned to where she started. Before she got sick, she was always smiling, made everybody feel better after coming into contact with her, and was always the prettiest girl at the party. Even though much of that never left, once again she's smiling, she makes everybody feel better after coming into contact with her, and she's definitely the prettiest girl at the party.

It's been an amazing journey. We have seen God bless us in ways we never could have imagined. We see joy in things that before were mundane. We count our blessings on a much more regular basis.

Our prayer all along has been the same as Tammy's prayer for years: to be used in a mighty way. We pray that, maybe because of our journey, you can see the good in things, even when the first glance doesn't look so good. Better than that, we pray that you can see God in everything.

A Big Relief

Proverbs 15:30
"...good news gives health to the bones."

We got great news from the doctor today at the clinic. We were pretty confident that the problem causing Tammy's liver counts to be too high was Graft Vs. Host Disease (GVHD). GVHD is the equivalent of rejection for bone-marrow transplant patients. Contrary to other transplants, GVHD means that the transplant is rejecting something(s) in your body. They want a little bit of GVHD, because it helps prevent recurrence of cancer. But they don't want too much.

It was confirmed that it is GVHD, but the doctor said it is "mild and limited." It is mild in severity. The numbers are elevated, but not real bad. It is limited in that it only has affected her liver and her mouth. The liver can self-correct damage, and the mouth sores are very short-lived.

We felt good when he said that. Then he said, "I'm not going to treat it right now. If we have to treat it, it will be with steroids. It's not a big problem, but if we can avoid adding the steroids I will. This just isn't bad enough to treat right now."

That is a huge relief. Tammy has been fine all along. She's not a worrier. But I was concerned that things were turning bad. While we don't want her numbers to be elevated at all, knowing that they're "under control" is a real blessing.

Tammy will continue to go in for bi-weekly blood tests. If the numbers get too high, they'll start to treat it. But we hope to avoid that.

We so appreciate your prayers. As we have said all along, we feel like we have been carried for the past 15 months on a pillow of prayers. Over the past couple of weeks, we have felt it very strongly. Many people have sent us messages letting us know they're continuing to pray for us. That has made this bumpy part of the journey go very smoothly.

God is good, all the time.

No News

Psalm 27:14
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

We apologize for the lateness of this entry. We got home from the hospital after Tammy's visit and then went out to dinner to celebrate Valentine's Day. We're watching the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics and we just realized that we hadn't posted anything.

We don't have any news. Once again, we are waiting. This time, we are waiting for the results of the biopsy. The Lord certainly has taught us patience during this 15-month journey.

The appointment today was just to make sure things were progressing the way they were supposed to. We thought that we might hear the results of the liver biopsy, but that won't happen until next week.

The doctors have not ruled out anything, but they are more and more convinced that it is Graft Vs. Host Disease. We have full confidence in the doctors. Even more than that, we have confidence that God has all this in His control.

Tammy feels really good. The soreness from the surgery is going away. She's not 100 percent yet, but she's improving. She's not quite ready to do that aerial trick the guy did in the Opening Ceremonies where he flew around the stadium on the wires, but it looked like fun.

We hope you have a great weekend. God bless you. And Happy Valentine's Day!

Quick Update

Ephesians 3:20-21
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Tammy's procedure went well today. Her liver biopsy took about 45 minutes and she was in recovery for about two hours. She is in a little pain, but mostly discomfort. She's resting at home.

As we look at this in the big picture of her recovery, it's a minor bump in the road. The doctors believe she has a little bit of Graft Vs. Host Disease (GVHD), which means her new bone marrow may be rejecting one or more of her organs. While that can be a problem, the doctors also believe it can be treated with meds.

We have an appointment Friday afternoon with the hepatologist (the liver doctor) to find out the results of the biopsy. I'm sure we'll find out at that appointment if the treatment will change. We appreciate your continued prayers.

A Bump in the Road

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

We have been very thankful for all the miracles we have experienced during Tammy's recovery. It has gone so smoothly, that even the smallest obstacle seems major. We hope that it the case this time, and that the obstacle before us is minor in the big picture.

Tammy still goes in to the clinic for blood tests every other week. Once a month, she meets with a doctor to review the blood tests and make sure the recovery is on schedule. Recently, they noticed that the results of her liver function test were out of whack. Since they tapered her off the anti-rejection medicine, the levels have gone up rapidly.

The first treatment was to put her back on the medicine, but that has only shown marginal improvement. So next Wednesday morning she will have liver biopsy to determine the cause of the problem. There are three likely scenarios. It may be a reaction to one of the medicines. It may be an elevated iron level. Most likely, it is some graft-vs-host disease (GVHD). The GVHD is a form of rejection. Unlike most organ transplants, where the recipient's body rejects the new organ, a bone-marrow transplant recipient runs the risk of the new bone marrow rejecting existing organs.

Please pray that this is an easily repaired problem. Pray for peace for our family as we wait for the results. Mostly, please pray that God can be glorified by the way we deal with the situation.

Another Milestone

Acts 5:12
"At the hands of the apostles many signs and wonders were taking place among the people; and they were all with one accord in Solomon's portico."

Ever since New Testament days, when the apostles went to the temple in a Honda (see above, loosely translated) experiencing the thrill of driving has been a big deal. So we want to tell you of another milestone in Tammy's recovery. She's getting her stamina and strength back slowly, and it's time to let her drive again.

We need to get my truck worked on tomorrow, so Tammy will follow me to the mechanic in our other car. Today, she drove to the gas station, the first time she's been behind the wheel in about a year. It was a short drive, but a Neil Armstrong-sized leap in her recovery.

It's been a few weeks since we've posted anything, mostly because things are going according to schedule. She still has to keep her numbers under control, a very delicate balance, but I'm reminded daily how much of a miracle she is.

God already has used her in a mighty way, and it's obvious to us that He has more plans for her. Thanks for all your prayers.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Lamentations 3:22-24
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"

I feel a little like Bing Crosby in "Holiday Inn," only posting blog entries recently on holidays. But we didn't want to let this milestone day pass without taking a few minutes to look back on the past year, and look forward to the year that just started.

When we posted last January 1, we were waiting to hear if either of Tammy's brothers was going to be a match. We knew the chances of a successful bone-marrow transplant were greatly enhanced if Mike or Jim was a match. As you know, neither turned out to be a match, but we did find a match at the beginning of February. Two months later, Tammy got her new bone marrow. That started a long road of recovery that now is at Day 275.

As we start 2010, we look forward to some new "firsts." Her first "birthday" will be April 1. Her first day of church may very well be Easter Sunday. We're hopeful that soon she'll be able to have a first day of work. There's so much still to be determined, and we're excited to see how God works in our lives this year.

We're looking forward to hearing more about David Lee's and Wiola's plans for marriage and a life together. We're looking forward to seeing how God lays the groundwork for David and Julie to return to the missions field in Poland. We are extremely blessed that our children not only love and respect us, but are each other's best friends and, mostly, love the Lord and want to serve Him.

We believe very strongly that God allowed this to happen to Tammy so that we could point people to Him. The way Tammy has dealt with this illness and long recovery has allowed people to see faithfulness and trust in His plan. God has truly used Tammy in a mighty way.

As you start a new year and a new decade, our prayer for you is to be open to God's leading so He can use you in a mighty way too.

A Blessed Christmas

Luke 2:11
"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."

We are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ today, as are so many of you. Christmas is not about presents, feasts and being with family, though all those things are an important part of our celebration. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, who came to Earth in the form of a child, with the sole purpose of dying on the cross for our sins. As we remember the birth, the story is not complete without His death, and resurrection. Christmas is made complete through the blessing of Easter.

We celebrated with our usual pattern of going to my Mom's house to celebrate with my side of the family last night. Today, we celebrated with the five of us (more on that later). This evening, we'll go to Tammy's parents to celebrate with her side of the family. It is a joy to get together with both sides of the family, because we are all so close. We have known each other for so long (remember, we met the summer between first and second grade) that we feel like we grew up together. So her family is my family, and vice versa.

We always have plenty of good food to eat, and lots of laughs as we watch each other open presents. It's such a joy, especially with the little kids.

The celebration is enhanced by the fact that the whole family knows why we celebrate Christmas. We don't have to water down our celebration. We celebrate the birth of our Lord, as families.

But this year there's even more celebration. We have a healthy Tammy with us. We thank you so much for your prayers during the past year. We believe God has answered those prayers in a powerful and loving way. If you've been following this blog for a while, you know that Tammy's prayer for years has been to "be used in a mighty way." As we celebrate this Christmas with Tammy well on her way to full recovery, God is being glorified by His healing power, and by Tammy's faithfulness. Her joy of being around, and her real joy of serving Him in all she does, is a testimony to her devotion to Him. We believe He has honored that devotion in His decision to let her continue to live here with us.

Another blessing we are celebrating this Christmas is a new member of our family. On December 17, David Lee asked Wiola Kucharska to marry him...and she said "Yes!" We're not sure when the wedding will be, probably a year or so away. We do know that it will be in Poland. But she has been with us in Kansas City for the past couple of weeks and will be until January 3. We'll miss her when she returns to Poland, but we are thrilled beyond words to have this beautiful young lady--inside and out--as part of our family. David has found a treasure, and it's very, very obvious they love each other. She's standing between David and Julie in the picture above.

As darkness fell last night, the snow started. We have about 10 inches of snow, so the snow board that we bought David came in real handy. It's the first White Christmas we've had since 1982, and the most snow we've ever had on Christmas Eve/Day. Julie has been wanting a White Christmas for a long time, so we're definitely enjoying it.

Last night, Tammy was able to experience our church's Christmas Eve service in an unusual way. David brought his laptop to the church and logged on to Skype. We logged on to Skype on my laptop at home and Tammy watched--and sang along--as the story of Christmas was told in story and song. After the service, many of our friends got to say hi to her through the video camera and see her on screen.

As this Christmas day winds down, we pray that you will remember the reason we stop the world for a day at Christmas. A Savior has been born to us; He is Christ the Lord.

A Great Thanksgiving!

Hebrews 12:28
“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.”

I looked up Thanksgiving on wikipedia. Here's what it said: “Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving Day, presently celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November, has been an annual tradition in the United States since 1863. It did not become a federal holiday until 1941. Thanksgiving was historically a religious observation to give thanks to God, but is now primarily identified as a secular holiday.”

Most people in America, when they think of Thanksgiving, think of food—lots of food—and most likely a big turkey dinner. Or football—lots of football.

As an afterthought, they might think about giving thanks for the many blessings they've received. Many have no idea to whom they should give thanks. They're just in a thankful mode. When you think about it, that's ludicrous. It's like being in love, but not with anyone in particular. How can you be thankful without having someone to receive those feelings?

Thanksgiving celebrates God blessing the Pilgrims after their first year in the new world. They celebrated a bountiful harvest, peace with the Indians and survival amidst all the hardships of being pioneers. There was no question whom they were thanking—the Lord and Creator of the universe.

While I knew whom to thank, I have to admit, my priorities were similar to many of my fellow Americans'. My thoughts as Thanksgiving approached were, “Where and what time are we going to eat the turkey dinner?” and “What games are on TV?”

Not so this year.

We have so much to be thankful for, just like every year. But there is one thing—and some peripheral things that go with it—that dominate our thoughts. A year ago at this time, we were facing the uncertainty of a cancer developing in Tammy's blood. The doctor had told us that the way this disease develops she would not be here this Thanksgiving if she did not get a bone-marrow transplant. That was no sure thing, because they had to find a donor who was a perfect match and willing to donate.

We went to one of Tammy's brothers for Thanksgiving dinner and Tammy barely had enough energy to sit at the dinner table. David Lee was still in Poland with a few weeks left in his time there, and he called us on my cell phone. I'll always remember Julie saying to David, “You don't have to come home early, but don't be late.” We knew that healing was possible, but not guaranteed. We tried to put on a happy face, but we had to wonder if it would be our last Thanksgiving with Tammy.

As you know, a lot has happened in the past year. Two days after having our own bone-marrow drive at the end of January, to which 144 people showed up compared to the normal 30 to 40, we found out that a match was found through the national bone-marrow donation program. A 37-year-old male had given Tammy life.

On April 1, after a week of heavy chemotherapy, Tammy received the new bone marrow. On April 2, she was rushed to ICU with pneumonia. The doctor told me, “This is what we were afraid of. The next 24 to 48 hours are critical for her survival.” The ICU nurses and doctors got her through the night, and into the next day. Three days later, she was released back to her room. She was released from the hospital on April 20.

Over the next seven months, she has continued to improve, gradually, day-by-day. Today, she is 100 percent in remission. She is nearly back to her old self. This morning, she was up before the rest of us and made blueberry muffins (Julie came home last night for a couple of days). If that smell wasn't enough to wake us up, the cranberry sauce cooking on the stove was.

She's got much of her energy back, though she still has to take rests from time to time. We're working together to get the food ready to take to her brother's house tonight for Thanksgiving dinner, plus the food for our own family's dinner tomorrow. All appearances are that she will survive this and live a long life.

We are thankful, not just in a general sense, but very specifically to the Lord of the universe. He has blessed us with a wonderful family, with many precious friends. More specifically to this blog, He led the donor to be willing to donate his bone marrow to give life. He gave the doctors and nurses the wisdom and skill to help her through the recovery. He gave all the people at the cancer clinic the love to share with her in her recovery. He gave her family and friends the energy to tend to her needs during this long process.

In other words, he gave life. He gave physical life to Tammy though it seemed doubtful. He gives eternal life to anyone who accepts it, even though it is undeserved.

For that we are truly thankful. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Blessings Upon Blessings

Deuteronomy 28:2
“All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God."

When we took Julie to Manhattan for her freshman year of college in 2004, we kind of stalled. We took a little longer in the restaurant. We kept making trips to the car. We did everything we could do to stay with her for another minute or two. But we knew it was inevitable. Our baby had grown up, and it was time for the next stage of her life, a stage in which we wouldn't be involved as much on a daily basis.

As we drove away, we spoke—through tears—about when we first brought David Lee home from the hospital. We remembered saying “our lives will never be the same.” And then we thought of the blessings that we experienced as parents. We then thought about when Julie went to first grade and was gone all day, every day and our house was empty of children during the day. We remembered saying “our lives will never be the same.” And then we thought of the blessings that we experienced with a little bit of free time away from the kids.

We then said, “With David in his own apartment and Julie away at school, our lives will never be the same.” And we thought about the blessings that might be in store for us.

It's been a great five years for us. We are closer than we've ever been. We have more flexibility in our schedule. We have been able to take two missions trips together and get even more involved at church.

Then, a year ago last week, we got some devastating news. Tammy's blood counts were dangerously low. We made the mistake of getting onto the Internet and finding out what that might mean. We saw “leukemia” among the possibilities, and we knew it was not going to be a smooth ride. Above all else, we knew our lives would never be the same.

It was hard to think of Tammy getting leukemia as a blessing. (Technically it never developed into full-blown leukemia, just the pre-cursor.) But a look back over the past year reveals many blessings.

Many couples go through problems like this and are driven apart. They can't deal with the pressure, and they bail. Through God's provision, this journey has brought us together. I'm one who needs a purpose each day. My overall purpose has never changed: to glorify God in my life. But my daily purpose during this time was doing whatever Tammy needed to get better. I could see results on a daily basis when I did what I was supposed to do. I've never felt so needed.

It also gave me an opportunity to repay Tammy for years of taking care of me. As many of you know, I have been a diabetic practically all my life. I am very well controlled, but occasionally there has been trouble. Numerous times Tammy has awakened to find me in diabetic shock and has done what was necessary to get me back to health. While I can never get even, I have been able to “even up the chair legs” just a little.

David Lee returned from Poland the day before our first visit to the cancer clinic at KU, where we found out the details of her pre- and post-transplant journey. We heard the odds of her recovery (at least according to the statistics), and came to grips with her possible mortality. David has been a huge help over the past 10 months, as he has lived at home and taken his turns taking Tammy to the clinic and watching her at home. Julie hasn't been able to spend as much time here because of her jobs in Louisville, but she has been a big part of things too. She has provided inspiration as she has continued to serve the Lord in the missions field even while distracted.

We've also been blessed by the opportunity to share our faith, in person and through the blog. We have lost count of how many people have told us they've enjoyed reading the blog. As we've written, people on five continents are reading the blog and praying for Tammy. We've shared our story—and thus our faith—with people in stores, at the hospital and the clinic, at work and school for the kids and me, and pretty much everywhere we go. People tell us they've seen us on television and that we inspired them with our trust in God.

Today we were blessed by the news that Tammy has a “clean bill of health,” according to the lead doctor at the clinic. He said she still needs to be careful of being around sick people, but he said her counts continue to look good. Her immune system is still not where it needs to be, but it's better than normal for this stage of recovery. The doctor gave her permission to get into public more, with the exception of church, where people will hug her. And he even gave her permission to have plants and flowers in the house (see the picture above), as long as she doesn't dig in the dirt.

Life is returning to normal—sort of. Tammy doesn't have a lot of energy, but she's able to do more and more. In a sense, we're settling into a routine.

Yesterday was Day 200. It's hard to believe we've gone through another 100 days since our big celebration July 10, when we got the first batch of good news that it appeared Tammy was going to beat this disease. If we count the time before the transplant, and all the uncertainty it brought, it's been a year-long journey through the desert.

We're studying Exodus in small groups at our church. We're learning a lot about Moses' and the Israelites' journey through the desert. Last night, one of the questions was “How can God get you out of a tough situation when you’re willing to follow His plan?” We kind of bounced around the answer until we finally reached the conclusion that we must distance ourselves from our own plans and buy into His plan, even when it doesn't seem like the right plan. We talked about the concept of praying “Send me where You're blessing” instead of “Bless me as I go down this path.”

Tammy and I did not choose this path. We could have looked for ways to get out of it, and at times we prayed for God to take it away. But most of the time we have chosen to focus on what God wanted to teach us through this, and how the situation, and our reaction to it, could glorify Him.

Our goal over the past year with this blog has been to be transparent. When we were struggling with something, we wrote about it. When we were celebrating something, we wrote about it. When we realized something new, we wrote about it. We hope you learned something through us, if not from us. We hope you have a closer relationship with the Lord through being partners with us.

The journey is not done. Tammy still has hurdles to clear. Her immune system still needs to rebuild. She'll never be able to completely forget the cancer, and will always have to be aware of signs of recurrence. We'll update the blog as new milestones are cleared, but we probably won't do much regular updating for the sake of writing something.

We hope you have enjoyed the ride with us. We thank you for your continued prayers. We thank you for your words of encouragement.

God bless you.

Lots of Good News and a Little Disappointment

2 Corinthians 1:10-11
"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."

It was an early-morning start for us as Tammy had a 7:30 appointment at the clinic. After getting some blood drawn we waited to see the doctor. He came in and gave us mostly good news.

Tammy's counts continue to go up, and he said she is 100 percent IN REMISSION. We are so excited about this news. It means that the past year (it was mid-October last year when she was diagnosed) has not been for naught. She's not completely out of the woods; that won't happen for five years. But she has NO graft vs. host disease, which is the biggest risk from a bone-marrow transplant. The doctor called her "beautiful" (which I seconded), and he has called her "the perfect transplant patient" before.

He did give us one piece of disappointing news, though in the grand scheme of things, it's a minor set-back. He said with all the flu going around and Tammy's compromised immune system, he would like her to wait until next spring before going back to church. His exact words were, "You'll have 50 more years of church. God will understand if you wait another six months."

From there, we went to the hospital, where Tammy had her trifusion set removed. The procedure lasted only 40 minutes and she walked out of the treatment room (they gave her a local only). We got home around 11:30 and she has rested all afternoon. She is not supposed to lift anything for a couple of days, which wouldn't have happened anyway because she's pretty sore.

We can't thank you enough for your prayers over the past 12 months. We ask you to continue them as well. We believe that God has answered the prayers of many righteous people.

A Few Requests

Jeremiah 29:11
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

We had a wonderful weekend with Julie in town. We took her to the airport this morning, so she could head to Ethiopia with a team of 13 from our church. She was very excited to go again, and we are excited for her. But we also miss her. We ask you to pray for the team, that they would be safe. More than that, we ask you to pray that their trip will impact another part of the world for His kingdom.

Today is David Lee's 26th birthday. We are so proud of him and the man he has become. He still has the same sweet disposition he had as a little boy (though he doesn't like it too much when we call him sweet), and he is totally in love with the Lord. He wants to serve Him more than anything in the world. We ask you to pray that he will be able to continue to follow God's plan for his life.

Tomorrow is a big day for Tammy. After more than six months of having a trifusion set, a surgically implanted IV port, in her chest, she will have it removed tomorrow morning. It has been used to draw blood samples and distribute medicines. Having that port has helped keep her veins from collapsing from frequent use. This is routine surgery, but you know the old saying, "It's not routine when it's someone you love."

We would ask for your prayers for the hands of the doctors, and for Tammy as she goes through the procedure and the recovery process. It's all part of the journey.

Our lives are a journey. Each of us has a course that was designed specifically for us. Sometimes the path is clearly marked; other times it winds through a desert or a forest, and we have no idea what the next step will bring. We all have roadblocks and even planned obstacles on our journey. It is our job, as Christians, to follow the path that God has laid out for us. It is our prayer for you that His will would become very clear for you, and that you chose to follow it.

Thanks for the prayers.

"God, whom I serve with my whole heart in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all times...."

Special Weekend

1 Kings 4:20b
"...they ate, they drank and they were happy."

We're celebrating a special weekend this weekend. This afternoon, Tammy and I went to the airport and picked up Julie. She's spending the weekend with us before heading to Ethiopia Monday with a group from our church.

We're very proud of Julie, as she serves the Lord all around the world. In the past year and a half, she's been to Holland, Dubai, the Middle East, Poland, Sudan, Ethiopia, England, Hungary and Romania, as well as church-planting trips in Baltimore and New York City. Everywhere she goes makes an impact on her, as she makes an impact on the people she serves.

Yet she's still our little girl. The same innocent smile is always spread across her face, regardless of how tired she is or what pressures she's under. She has such a great disposition, and an all-out willingness to serve God by serving others.

David Lee is like that as well. He can't wait to get back to Poland, probably in about a year, so he can go back to his work of teaching English to Polish kids. He doesn't consider it a sacrifice, because he enjoys it so much. But he is willing to give up the lifestyle of a typical American 26-year-old (as of next Monday) to serve.

They come by that attitude very naturally. As you know, Tammy gets the most joy when she is serving others. We have heard from many people who have been blessed by Tammy's reaction to this whole journey. When she reads or hears those comments, it pleases her. It has helped her endure the difficulties, knowing that others have been blessed by her journey.

We had a great evening together, laughing like little kids and eating as a family for the first time in several months. We are so blessed to have two kids who have grown up to be great servants, as well as our friends. We enjoy spending time with each of them, and the times we get to be with both of them together are very special.

We hope you have a blessed weekend.

Coup-Fourré!

Job 19:25-27
"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!"

Job 42:2
"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted."

One of my favorite games when I was growing up was Mille Bornes (which is French for 1,000 milestones). The point of the game was to travel 1,000 miles by playing mileage cards. Opponents tried to slow you down or stop you by playing hazard cards (flat tire, accident, out of gas, speed limit or stop). You responded by playing remedies (spare tire, repairs, gasoline, end of limit or roll) or, better yet, safeties (Puncture Proof, Driving Ace, Extra Tank or Right of Way). Remedies allowed you to resume your pace, while safeties allowed you to resume your pace and kept you from getting that type of hazard again. If you had the right safety at the time the hazard was played, you'd say, "Coup-Fourré!" to signify you were immune from that type of hazard. There was nothing like shouting "Coup-Fourré!" when someone tried to slow you down.

So why do we bring this up today? Today is Day 180--a huge milestone--in Tammy's post-transplant journey. If something really bad is going to happen because of the transplant, it usually happens within the first 180 days. But it seems like we've gone through 1,000 milestones.

Through the past 180 days, she has encountered many hazards. She's had flat tires and accidents (like the sudden gall bladder surgery around Day 100). She has run out of gas (with a constant lack of energy to get done what she wants to get done). And she has been given a speed limit or a stop card (with her low immune system keeping her from doing some of the things she dearly loves doing, like being with small children and hugging her family and friends).

But God has provided the remedy cards. He gave her a repair card and allowed for a perfect surgery to take care of the gall bladder. He has given her a gasoline card to allow more energy as the days go by, and has given her patience to wait for the energy to come back slowly. And He has given her end of limit and roll cards to allow her to go back into public, at least on a limited basis.

We believe that the prayers offered by thousands of people on five continents (Australia and Antarctica where are you?) are our Coup-Fourré card. Satan may think he's winning this game. But we know we'll win the game, no matter how we get to the milestone.

Do you remember what we wrote last November? We said that God would be glorified no matter how this turned out. If He chose to heal Tammy quickly, He would be glorified by His power. If He healed her slowly, He would be glorified by Tammy's patience. If He took her home, He would be glorified by Tammy's peace.

All appearances are that He has chosen to heal her slowly. But during this 180 days, and the days leading up to her transplant April 1, Tammy has been able to live out her prayer: to be used in a mighty way.

Just tonight, we were doing some shopping, and we had a chance to share Tammy's story and bless someone else. A wonderful lady was ringing us up, and she was humming, "My Redeemer Lives" by Nicole C. Mullen. She apologized for her humming, but said she couldn't get the song out of her head. We told her it was okay with us, because we loved the song. She told us how her faith had allowed her to establish a ministry, even through one of the darkest periods anyone should have to endure. We shared that God has been faithful with Tammy, and shared the blog address with her. We prayed together, right there in the store at the front register. It was a blessing to all of us.

We don't know where you are in your faith journey right now. It is our prayer that you would be able to look at the hazards you face and use God's remedy cards, and ultimately His safety cards to get through.

Coup-Fourré!

Grace

Ephesians 2:4-9
"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast."

I recently became aware of a great example of grace. A person I know forgave someone, even though that person did not deserve it. She did that, because she understood the concept of grace, because she has received grace from Christ.

Grace is all about getting something you don't deserve, because of the kindness and/or generosity of the grace-giver. When someone wrongs you, and you forgive them and move on, you are practicing grace. It's much easier to do when you have experienced it yourself. You can overlook the faults of someone else when the feeling of freedom that accompanies grace is fresh in your mind.

All of us have been offered grace, whether we accept it or not. The ultimate example of grace is God sending His Son to earth, to die on the cross, to pay for our sins. You may have heard the acronym for grace: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. God wants to have a relationship with us, but our sin prevents it. He sent Jesus, who was perfect, to pay for our sins, because we could not pay that debt.

When you've been given grace, there is a tremendous feeling of freedom. It's not the freedom to keep doing what you were doing that required grace. It's the freedom to do the right thing, to respond to the gift and to pass grace to someone else.

How does this relate to Tammy's journey? It's pretty simple. Thousands of people around the world have been praying for Tammy to recover. They were earnest prayers, prayed through love, to the God who loves Tammy more than any of us can imagine. But He didn't have to say "Yes." He could have displayed His power and glory by taking Tammy home, and He would have been glorified by her peace throughout. But He granted her grace in a physical way and has brought her through to this point. All indications are that a complete recovery is very possible. But that's only through His grace.

Back in Her Element

Matthew 19:13-14
"Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'"

Okay, so we just posted earlier this afternoon, but we had to post again.

This evening, we attended a surprise birthday party for a close friend who turned 30. There was a good crowd of people there, and Tammy is supposed to stay away from crowds. But Tammy really didn't want to miss it so we went anyway. There were quite a few people there who were not expecting Tammy to be there, and the reaction was great.

But it didn't take long for Tammy to connect with the small children. She misses her weekly contact with the little ones. The kids stayed back, because their moms had told them that Tammy couldn't be hugged. But they couldn't stay too far away. They wanted to tell her what was going on in their lives, just like they always had.

Tammy looked at each one of them and listened intently. She had "that look." I managed to get a picture of it (sorry, it's blurry). It was so good to see her relating to the children.

You know that we believe this journey has been an answer to Tammy's long-time prayer of being "used in a mighty way." But we also believe that one of Tammy's gifts is her ministry to children, and we believe she will be able to resume that once she's sufficiently over this illness. Tonight was a fun reminder of how precious these little ones are to her.

How Great is Our God

2 Samuel 7:22
"How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears."

Not much has changed since the last time we posted. In fact, not much has changed in the last couple of months. Progress is slow, but steady. Tammy continues to improve, though very gradually. It can be a little frustrating for me, because I want her to be able to resume normal activities. But her energy level is just not there yet. It's what was expected, but it still has been frustrating for me.

One of the songs we sang today in church was "How Great is Our God." Here are the words:

The Splendor of the King, clothed in Majesty.
Let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice.
He wraps Himself in light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice, trembles at His voice.

How great is our God.
Sing with me, how great is our God.
All will see how great, how great is our God.

Age to age He stands, and time is in His hands,
Beginning and the end, beginning and the end.
The Godhead, Three in One: Father, Spirit, Son,
The Lion and the Lamb, the Lion and the Lamb.

How great is our God.
Sing with me, how great is our God.
All will see how great, how great is our God.

Name above all names,
Worth to be praised.
My heart will sing,
How great is our God.

How great is our God.
Sing with me, how great is our God.
All will see how great, how great is our God.

At first, the song made me think of our daughter, Julie. When she returned home from Poland the first time, she sang this song to us in Polish. She has led our congregation in singing it, and every time I hear it, I think of her passion for Poland, for missions and for the Lord.

But as I sang that song today, it humbled me. Who am I to tell God how, or at what pace, to heal Tammy? He has been so faithful to deliver her through so many trials. Instead of being thankful for those miracles, I had the audacity to question Him.

The words that grabbed me most were, "and time is in His hands." He has everything in His hands, including the timing with Tammy's healing and whether or not that healing occurs. Many of our friends are dealing with critical issues in their lives, including some with life-threatening issues. We pray for them regularly. I must remember to thank God for the blessings He has given us as well.

When I read this to Tammy, she told me that she has had Psalms 31:14-15a highlighted in her Bible for many years: "But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands...." She said that this verse reminds her to depend on the Lord's timing. "I would rather have my progress be slow and sure, and know that it is within God's timing, than have it speeded up in my timing and mess it up," she said. "The doctors say there are different steps of healing that you must go through. I've been very fortunate that those steps have not been a problem, but have gone smoothly. It's just a matter of seeing the big picture."

Steps

Philippians 3:12-14
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Sometimes steps feel more like giant leaps (just ask Neil Armstrong). Other times they feel more like a Tim Conway old-man shuffle, where you barely make any progress.

Lately, we feel like we're more in the Tim Conway mode, as progress is very slight. But we keep reminding ourselves that progress is better than retreat.

Let's talk about steps. Last week Tammy and I took a lot of steps and walked all the way around the block. We live on a slight hill, so it means we had to walk up to the end of the street, then down, then back up to the house. Her pace was good and she wasn't too winded when she got home.

This recovery has been a long process, and there still is a lot of steps to go. Even when we reach the 180-day mark later this month, we'll still have a long road ahead of us. Most of the restrictions should be lifted, but she'll still have to visit the clinic on a regular basis. She won't be risk free for five years.

Tammy remains positive. She is anticipating what's next, and even though the steps of progress are not as dramatic as they were a few months ago, she is thankful for each step. We now recognize differences in terms of weeks, rather than days. For example, she notices differences in her weekly appointments at the clinic. People who don't see her every day, like I do, notice a difference in the way she looks. They talk about her color and her alertness.

Our walk with the Lord sometimes seeks like a slow progression. We want to do the Lord's will, but we get in our own way. When we make progress it's barely noticeable. Especially when we examine our own lives, because by default we're around ourselves all the time, we don't see much change. But if you've become a Christian as an adult, someone who knew you before He came into your life will see a big difference.

But here's the best analogy. The difference between us before Christ took control of our lives and after He became our Lord is the difference between darkness and light. Darkness is not the opposite of light, it's the absence of light. When we become Christians, God looks at us through the lens of forgiveness offered by Jesus' sacrifice. That's pure light. Christ takes our sins away and lets His light shine on, in and through us.

As the Scripture from Philippians states, we don't consider ourselves complete. We're 50 years down the path toward eternity, and hopefully we will have many years ahead. But our goal is not a rich life here. It's reaching that day when we will see Jesus face to face, and He will look at us and say "Well done, good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:21, 23)

Step by step.

Support

Matthew 25:34-40
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

Today is Day 150. The last 50 days have flown by. It just seems like a couple of weeks ago that we celebrated Day 100. That seemed to take forever, especially the second 50 days. Yet we've gone another 50 days since then. We're about a month away from the next milestone of 180 days, which is when the last of the restrictions should be lifted.

The time has gone quickly because of the support we've received from so many people. We've been ministered to by a lot of people in many ways. We've been blessed by the help, and also humbled by it.

We haven't posted as much in the last few weeks because things have just been going smoothly without a lot of changes. Kind of like trying to raise your batting average late in the baseball season, you have to have a spectacular day to see much change.

Well, we had a spectacular idea presented to us late this week. My district manager came into my office and told me he has been training for a half-marathon in the early fall. This is in preparation of a full marathon next April.

The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society has a program that allows runners to raise money in honor of cancer survivors. Ty asked if we would be willing to spread the word about his marathon next spring. He will be running in Tammy's honor.

It's too early to start taking pledges, but if you think you'd be interested in sponsoring him, send me an email (DavidDSmale@gmail.com). I'll put together a group and as the time draws near I'll send you an email to get your pledge.

The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society does a great job with research and also in helping victims get through the difficulty of cancer. They have donated funds to us to help with prescription costs. We appreciate what they do and look forward to helping them.

Ty's offer of support--and this is not a new offer--brings to mind how much our friends and family have been there for us through this time. Ty has orchestrated financial support from my fellow insurance agents. Our church family has supported us with meals, cards and letters, and even such things as mowing our yard when I was focusing all my attention on Tammy's daily needs. And of course, the prayers of people all around the world have carried us.

When you support someone, you bring glory to God. Sometimes we don't even realize it when we have been God's representative during another person's trials. The key is to be open to His leading, so when opportunities present themselves we can respond.

A Happy Anniversary

1 Corinthians 13:13
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Twenty-eight years ago tonight, I said the two words I am most proud of in my entire life: "I do." It has been an amazing 28 years, and we know that the best is yet to come.

Tammy and I grew up together, as we have posted before. I fell in love with her 43 years ago and that love has grown stronger. I can't imagine loving her any more than I do today, though past history tells me I will love her even more tomorrow. Tammy feels the same way about me.

We've been told that hardship like the battle Tammy has gone through over the past 10 months often breaks apart couples, even couples who love each other very much. The constant struggles are too much too handle.

We feel blessed that we have grown closer not apart. We feel that God has given us the strength we need, and our dependence on Him has been the difference.

Tammy continues to do well. We went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant and tonight we're going to watch a rented movie (we're not real fancy). We'll curl up on the couch and just love on each other, much like we have for the past 28 years.

A Special Day

Mark 12:30
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."

I have been a part of a business networking group, called "We're Talkin' Tuesday," for more than three years. We meet every other Tuesday and talk about business, giving each other tips, referrals and a friendly ear during tough economic times.

I have become quite close to many of the people in the group. As Tammy has gone through this battle, these friends have been a constant support. When I finish my 30-second "commercial" about my business, they always ask for a "Tammy update." Many people have told us they were praying for Tammy, and as I shared the good news of her progress they shared in my joy.

But the joy was never like it was today. Tammy was cleared to go out in public on a limited basis in late July, and today was the first opportunity to introduce her to "the family" at "We're Talkin' Tuesday." The leader asked me to introduce our special guest, and so I introduced "the love of my life and my hero."

She got a standing ovation.

I had a friend take a video using my phone. We're trying to get it into a form that will show on the web. If we do, we'll post it in the next couple of days.

I had looked forward to this day for some time. I am so proud of her, and I couldn't wait to show her off. I can hardly contain myself when I get the opportunity to talk about how much I love her.

It's not as easy to have that much enthusiasm when it comes to sharing our love for the Lord. It doesn't mean that we shy away from our faith when somebody asks us about it, but can we say that we jump at every opportunity to show off our Lord? Do we act like we're proud of our Savior? It is our prayer that we could demonstrate our love for the Lord in a way that will show everyone that He is the primary focus of our lives.

The Joy of Rain

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Do you like rain? How about thunderstorms? We love them. We live in the midwest, where a good thunderstorm is very common. We've had a weekend full of them, and we really enjoy them. It's not that we like the destruction that can come from the severe storms, but we appreciate the awesome display of God's power that is very evident in a thunderstorm.

When our kids were in Poland for extended periods of time, one of the things they each mentioned that they missed the most was the thunderstorms of home. It just rains there. While rain and storms can be a nuisance and an annoyance, they are necessary for growth. They also represent many aspects of our lives.

Rain symbolizes the troubles we face in life, but just as with the rain from the clouds, it's hard to have growth in our lives without going through difficulty.

We certainly have been through some thunderstorms in the past 10 months. We nearly lost Tammy after her transplant when she got very serious pneumonia. She has been very sick many times in her recovery, as her body fights off the effects of the chemotherapy that was necessary to kill her old cells so the new ones could take root. And the latest set-back with her gall bladder was yet another microburst on this journey.

But we know that God has overcome the world. He will not give us anything that we cannot handle with his assistance. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"

Our prayer for you is that when you face life's storms, that you will rely His grace and be able to praise Him.

Home Sweet Home

Joshua 24:15
"...choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, ...but as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

We're glad to report that we don't have to go to Hollywood for the movie production. Actually, there isn't going to be a movie. We hope you didn't really believe that; we were just having fun.

The names listed in the "credits" really have made a huge difference in this story. There are too many people to mention each one by name. But there were some special people we wanted to get some props. We actually thought of the idea a few months ago, and waited until most of the story was written before we ran with it.

Now I know that I'm going to get most of the credit/blame for that story, especially if any of you believed it. But let me set the record straight. While this one was mostly my idea, Tammy is the one who came up with the idea for our wedding announcement in the newspaper that said we went to the Mediterranean for our honeymoon, when we really went to our newly rented apartment in Shawnee. We were in church the next morning. Some of our best "stories" came from the seemingly innocent mind of "Sweet Tammy."

Tammy continues to make progress, allowing us to have some fun with the blog. Yesterday, after a visit to the clinic, I had to drive to the eastern part of town to look at a few buildings we might insure. Instead of taking Tammy home first, I just took her with me. We got some lunch and drove around town looking for the final building we never found. She lasted the whole three hours without any repercussions. Her stamina continues to improve, and nausea is less and less of a problem. That means we can spend some time on, well, having a little fun.

We continue to praise God for His amazing grace. Four months ago, Tammy was still in the hospital, just four days removed from ICU. Today, she stayed home alone while I went to church, then helped me clean the kitchen and do some stuff around the house. Through this whole process, our focus has been on serving the Lord, whether that means recovery, ministry or having fun.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. You'll never know how much they mean to us. We thank God constantly for you.

Going Hollywood

1 Thessalonians 1:3
"We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ."

Many people have told us that the story of Tammy’s journey has been an inspiration. Others have even suggested that we turn the blog into a book. Well, recently we got a call from Hollywood, with the voice on the other end of the phone telling us they wanted to make a movie out of her story! As a writer, they asked me to do the promotional material.

What do you think?

Preview
A woman in her late 40s had led a life of service to God and to her community. On one of those acts of service, she went to donate blood and found out that she had a blood disorder of her own. Over the next year, she went through a life-threatening ordeal that tested her faith and gave her the opportunity to be “used in a mighty way,” as has been her prayer for years.

This is the remarkable story of that woman’s perseverance, determination and faith through the battle with Leukemia.

Cast
Tammy Smale as “Herself”
The doctors, nurses and aides at KU Med Center and the KU Cancer Center as “The Medical Staff”
David Smale as “The Supportive Husband”
David Lee Smale as “The Noble Son”
Julie Smale as “Sunshine”
Lynn and Carleen Young, and Carol Smale as “The Lead Caregivers”
Barbara Jarman, Beth Barnlund, Michelle Alexander, Brooke Knapp, Gary LeSuer, Mary LeSuer and Thelma Reed as “The Caregivers”
Anonymous Bone-Marrow Donor as “The Provider”
Christians across the U.S. and around the world as “The Prayer Warriors”

Crew
Producer: God
Writer: God
Director: God
Casting: God
Music/sound: IPod
Art direction: Emily, Noah and Maizie Young and the children of Holy Cross Catholic School; and the children of Cedar Ridge Christian Church
Costume design: One True North
Hairstyling: Joe (aide at KU Med Center)
Special Effects: Chemotherapy
Best boy: “Steve” McGarry

Back in Church

Deuteronomy 4:29
"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul."

Today was another special day for us. Julie came into town last night and we all went to church together. I was able to preach (about missions) at Tammy's parents' church, and Tammy was able to attend. She's still restricted from going back to our church, because it's a much larger crowd and she still has to avoid big crowds. You just don't know who is sick or unknowingly might have been around somebody sick. But that church is a small church, so she was able to attend.

It was special for Tammy and me because we grew up in that church. I told stories of how I fell in love with "the new girl" when her family moved into town in the summer of 1966. As a young boy preparing to go into second grade I couldn't admit it. But I did a lot to get her attention (not all flattering stuff). Fortunately she forgot about a lot of it, so when we got back together when we were in college, I had a chance. Many of the people who were part of our lives as kids were there today.

Julie led the singing and David Lee did the children's sermon. Then I was able to bring the message about our family's passion for missions. After church, we went to my Mom's house and celebrated Tammy's birthday (a little more than a week ago), Julie's birthday (three weeks from tomorrow) and Tammy's Mom's birthday (four weeks from tomorrow). We spent the afternoon laughing together and celebrating life.

We hope your week is a good one. Look to the Lord and seek His will.