"...the joy of the LORD is your strength."
All of the posts so far have been from both of us. We share thoughts and then I put them in the post. Tammy reads it before I publish it, and makes whatever changes she wants. This one is strictly from me.
Last night's post was mostly from me, as I faced the reality of the situation. I always knew it was serious, but hearing the details of the risks and the follow-up was devastating. I honestly believe everything we've written to this point, but giving into God's will, if it meant possibly losing Tammy, was more than I could handle in my "humanness."
I went to worship rehearsal last night and was lifted up by some very dear friends, who pointed out some things I needed to remember. God is in control. He is more powerful than anyone or anything in the universe. His will is perfect. His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). These are all things we've written and/or said through this process, but I needed the reminders.
Tammy has been strong all along, looking at this as an opportunity to strengthen her witness. She also recognizes is may be easier for her than it is for the rest of us. I know it would be easier for me if this was my sickness.
I'm doing better today. Sharing thoughts with Tammy, plus some timely emails from family and friends have boosted my spirits. I want to thank you for your prayers. This will not be an easy road, and I'm sure there will be other times when I question why God is doing something. But the joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of knowing that He is in control and His will is perfect gives me the strength to get through anything and everything.